Thursday, May 31, 2012

a Bazaar summer begins

The bayou Bazaar is on Friday, that's tomorrow, which is also my hubby and I's anniversary. This month may just have more homegrown than handmade where last month was more handmade and no homegrown.  A different experience each month and that is the heart of it. Embracing the diversity of an unconventional gathering of local makers and enjoying it every step of the way. Let go and let Be. Be what it may!

Ok so I am gonna express myself here a bit. I mean that's what this is for right? For me to express my truth and not necessarily all the good stuff. With that said this is not a negative post at all and I hope it does not come across as so in the slightest.  I am rather new at introducing my creativity/myself to all (those closest to me might find that shocking) and it is a tender spot for me but I have to tell you this here blog has surely helped to give me some courage with that.

After nearly a year already of the Bazaar I am curious to see where it leads or ends up.  I am not the best with change, surprises or putting myself out there and I believe this local gathering of makers is challenging me in all of those areas. I want this monthly event to be ever changing and full of surprises which can be a challenge for someone who has difficulty accepting change and such. Challenge is a good thing because it inspires growth but that doesn't make it easy or even always pleasurable. Change is good too and I always like it once I accept it but the idea of it for me is a whole 'notha story. It kinda makes you(me) want to turn and run but I made a commitment of sorts and I can't turn my back on responsibilities. Though sometimes I feel tempted the idea of running leaves a real bad taste in my mouth and a heavy feeling on my spirit.  I think bringing together the local creative community in this way is a real good idea but it can be a bit difficult to organize lots of folk.  So many different schedules and lives being lived.  That alone could be a full time job all by itself. It takes a many more than an individual. This experience may just get me to that point of being passionate about something but not caring too much. That almost seems impossible doesn't it? To give yourself to something but not get too tied up in it. Is that even realistic? This is something my hubby and I discuss often.  I feel like I care too much, so much so that it really gets to me emotionally. I'm a bit of a control freak.  It's a weakness. But thats the whole beauty hidden in the creation of this whole thing.  It's really teaching me a lot and offering me an unforgettable experience. It's challenging my weaknesses, many of them in fact. It's allowing me to offer my form of creative expression to the community which places me in a vulnerable position of possible failure and judgement two things that scare the shit out of me (this I am discovering the truth of more and more). But through the risk of failure can come success. And honestly the positive reaction to something I have been a huge part of, something that is a reflection of me, feels so good. Empowering even.

note // I hesitated to post all of this but I did it anyway....Thank You!

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